well fuck

Ok so here it is 1in the fucking morning and I Should really go to bed but instead I get all contemplative after a long ass ride from the middle of no where playing good guy picking my dads wife up from work. Well as anyone will tell you all you can do when your this tired on a dark night on the long road home is think smoke and listen to loud music to stay the fuck awake. Well me being who I am I get all retrospective and start thinking about the last 5 years. I now live in Alabama Americas butt crack. I have changed job 5 times. Left a great job with good pay for an ok job making a fair wage to a retarded job making insane money. Well fuck me I lose that job have a mental break down and move to you guessed it Americas Butt Crack oh what a life. Then I took a job so mind numbing retarded that an ape with a bag on its head could do loading and unloading premium hand crafted shit made in a 3rd world country. Now I have a job helping the worlds largest consumer base of complete dip shit whom could not work toilet paper with out instructions. Yet these fuck tards buy cell phones that damn near require A bachelors from Brown University to dial. Oh god I love these bunch of morons but hey with out these prom night left over’s I would not have a job and fuck this isn’t about them this is about me so fuck them. Ok so my loving wife. Whom by the way loves me for reasons I can not fathom. Has chosen to work at the same place and flow me on my trek through life. This woman has stayed with me for 14 years and for that deserves a God Damn Award. Quick someone send her money or one of those retarded bowling trophies. She has only wanted one thing in 14 years a baby and if we can keep this job long enough I might be able to give her very own 2 legged micro demon of my on coin purse. I am not looking forward to the surgery to make that happen but fuck you would have to be a completely mentally retarded asshole to turn her down considering another person would have hauled ass out of the train wreck I have the Honor of calling a life so far. I mean its not all shit but that’s kind of the smell at this point. I am a self professed Self center egotistical jackass but even I can see when a person really loves me and if a baby version of me is what she wants then damn it a mini me she shall damn well have.So to bring everyone up to speed on things I live in Alabama with my wife and Nephew ( Mike) our pets Baby doll, Noodle, kit kat, and Wittle Benson(and he is not that fucking little I assure you ) Mikes pets Little momma (yes she is small), Ichigo, Pumpkin, Raven and Speedy. For those of you that can not count that’s 9 fucking pets and 3 humans in a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom house. Yeah I fucking know that’s a lot of pets in 1 house shut the hell up we are happy and so are the pets so fuck off. Or I could let Benson eat you, You cocky dickhead. I work a fair job for a fair wage and that’s good for know. But I often think of the long road I have been on and how I got to where I am and no I and no asking for driving directions stupid. As the hands of time spin by It just does not feel like 31 years. I know that you get old and die eventually but shit I have not seen everything I want yet. I have a great wife and friend in my spouse. She has seen me at my best and worst yet there she stands arms wide and loving. My nephew has stood strong through the storms so far and looks good for a few more. But that’s just it I am tired of the shit I want some sunshine. I do not want a ton of cash. I do not want a dream life I just want the life my family deserves not me exactly I am a shit head but they deserve better and that’s what I live for the day my wife can say I can not wait for you to see my house and my Husbands restaurant . Or her animal shelter. I want a real fucking yard for my dogs not 300 acres but a yard where they can run. A place where my nephew can chill out and have friends over without having them drive from 200 miles or more to visit. No this is me crying my life sucks pity my , Fuck you save your pity for a sad fucker on the street I am not that guy. I work my ass off for everything.But here I am none the less bitching in a blog no one in there right mind will read unless my happy ass said hey read this shit I wrote. My hope in the near future that being in 1-3 years is to buy a house in a state I have never been to and find a way to keep my past from haunting me everyday like it routinely does now. where my wife is walking around going isn’t my son/daughter just adorable, where my dogs can play in peace and my nephew can walk or ride a bike or bus to visit friends. So fuck I guess I can still dream of a brighter future I guess I am not as negative as I think but my family deserves it they are the ones holding on for dear life to the shit storm I call a life and its them I fight for not me if I can make it happen then I can relax and consider my life a victory no fast cars no whores just a normal life where once in a while things do not seem shitty and they can relax knowing I have set my roots firmly and that tomorrow the shit will not hit the fan. I know it is not much but fuck it its my dream and fuck you its what they should have. I do not want anything but those who have stood at my side to have what they should for being there. Then again they can never say I didn’t leave them with some great stories to tell, but stick around I might even tell you some of those doozies.