Let me start by saying yes life sucks. Depending on your focus. My life sucked because I focused a lot on me for a while. Then it because sadly I wanted something that wasn't in the cards for me and my wife. Then it sucked because I felt as if I deserved things. You know my life was hard, and I figured I would just catch a break. What a moron I am.
I'm not saying I'm stupid but, I was convinced I was entitled to something by right of my trials. Well bud that's a broken mindset.
While my wife and I struggled with our marriage and the fact we couldn't have kids. I did dumb shit to feel better about life and that did jack squat to help because it was self-righteous.
My wife and I lived in Alabama for 7 years during which I was made to humble myself. I meet some truly nuts folks. Don't think I'm being mean or ugly but, they are nuts. You take a group of friends that have dated the same dude in high school then argue over how terrible the men are around there. That same group of friends will also band together and beat the tar out of that same dude for stepping out of line. Yeah, read that again it's a ball scratcher but, in that state it makes sense.
Now when I say I was humbled by my time in Alabama there are several reasons. One I have met a lot of people in my time but, until then I hadn't met the mama class of women. This is a chick that will talk sweet as can be one second and straight offer to hand you your tail feather the next. I hadn't met a lot of truly hearty men either. These folks are forthright to a fault.
They have their own struggles and can be broke AF but, if they see a friend in need damned if you don't have gas money, a ride to work or a bag of yard eggs to eat. If you haven't eaten a yard egg one damn things are every color of the rainbow and two damned tasty.
I'm a loud foul mouth, hardworking, hard playing person some might even say a great asshole to know. People that don't know me or earn my trust think I'm a scary giant; Those who take me in call me a big teddy bear. In most cases I'm good with either. When I met folks in Alabama, I didn't say please or thank you. I have reasons stop judging well for now. I have been taught please was asking someone to do things not part of their jobs. Likewise, I say thank you for a task well done not just for doing what you are supposed to do. Furthermore, I just don't like the feeling of pleasantries for just any reason. However, this is a thing in the south being nice to avoid being generally unkind well most of the time at least. This is the state where bless your heart is a term of endearment and a way to call someone a moron. Oh, yeah it was confusing at times.
Now I do miss my friends there daily. Why well shit some of them were just damned fun to be around. It was a group of people that you could trust. Everyone knew each other and for me that was alien. I grew up in a large city were most of us only knew each other because we were bussed in for different parts of the city. We had school friends and neighborhood friends. Not where I stayed in Alabama. These folks grew up together fought, feuded and bonfired together. Want to know how to start a war at any point in Alabama talk sports holy shit.
I used to sit on break and listen to folks name near through punches of peewee football. Lord help you it was high school or worse college game argument. Damn yankee as I am hell I duck and cover. I could well say three big things while I was there not necessarily in any order are as follows. The Lord, Family football. (well booze and painkillers too if you want to be a dick).
My wife, nephew and I were broke as I had been in a while. Seven years of trying to find opportunity and nothing.
I work at a factory for a while and met a stereo-type of a man if ever I heard. I always ask about cool places to visit when I move to a place, and he refers me to a damn cemetery then tells me some women was hung there in Natural bridge, and you can still hear her scream. Like wait what who the heck wants to visit that. I mean I guess if you're into the macabre. Same place I talk to a guy about beer and I heard again a thing people up north joke about "If it ain't red white and blues on the can it ain't American". Then as a joke he called me a high tech redneck because I like beer that taste good and not just beer served cool, so you can't taste the piss.
Then there were the amazing folks that amongst them felt out of place. Kent was a teacher at one job. This dude broke all stereotypes dude was like 10 years younger than me loved technology and nature, his family and was just plain cool. We got bored and on a break started teaching me basic 1's and 0's binary. Then as a gag we would put jokes on the board in class in binary. Ok pause I get that for some folks that's just stupid but, man we had fun. At the same place I meet this dude named Jerry. Jerry again was a good ole boy but, also out of place. Huge heart, personality, and a thirst for the green milk (MTN Dew for y'all that don't know). He and I would go back and forth about the games we played on PC and talked about other interest. At one point hes all Dave you gotta try EVE online. At that time my addiction was World of Warcraft. So of course we agreed to try each others favorite out well I guess I won. The Reason being he met his wife on my game and I died in the training section of his.
Before I finally decided to reset my life and return to Ohio I had one more stop and a few more lessons to learn. That's the please and thank you thing. At my last job before hitting the road I met a few key folks some of them needed me as much as I needed to learn from them. One is a lovable dude he wears his heart on his sleeve but was the picture of calm. I was still stressing out all the time (having your priorities out of line does that). I was all worked up over nothing and asked him how he was always so calm. Bundy looks me dead on and says this place doesnt matter as long as at the end of my day I can go home and see my wife and kid its been a good day. Its a simple idea right like f me after all this time derp theres the key. It isnt what people that dont matter say, think or do its the people at home that love me that matter not a damn thing else. Bundy is an amazing man. His son Adien passed away not long after that conversation damn near blew his world apart and for the first time in years I was crushed by the grief I felt for him. Not long after however he and his wife were blessed with another child.
Then there is the dynamic duo. Janey and Sandra. We were a three in some form of broken. After work we spent a good amount of time chain smoking and taking turns making dirty joke and airing out our problems of the day. Man we really needed the strength on each other. Now to be clear Janey and Sandra thought I was and maybe still am a bit of and asshole. By contrast, I thought they were loud mouth B words when first we met. Janey is a fighter man literally and figuratively. When I ended up being her boss she was fit to be tied. Why well one she should have had that job and two I was the night shift dbag. Shes the one that drilled the please and thank you in to me. Albeit in her sweet keep talking shit and Ill bury you in it attitude. Shes seen some shit and well she still remained respectful even if she wanted to throat punch you. She told me "Dave just cuz you dont think you should say please or thank you dont mean folks dont deserve to hear it". She was right and sure enough without realizing it I was hurting folks because I just dont like using those phrases. Not only that, but she also helped me to remember to take better care of my family. Now better care doesnt mean always kiss their ass some times you gotta kick family in the ass to get them back on the straight and narrow too. That is one I witness with her and her sisters (blood and chosen sisters).
Which brings me to Sandra. She is straight nuts. That's what makes her fun and a true friend. I spent a lot of time being a shoulder for Sandra. Always talking about how we had both made some dumbass decisions in life always trying to find our way. I think Sandra was one of the reasons I ended up making the jump back to Ohio. Don't take that the wrong way. It was the sense of home we talked about. She and I had rough childhoods but, we didn't feel like Alabama was home and we both thought if we went back we could get our heads straight. We both ended up moving back and for the better. Not that we moved to the same state.
There were so many great people during that seven years. Some of which are no longer alive anywhere but our hearts. I didnt feel like I had friends in Alabama, I had new family members. I met folks that didnt pretend. If they liked you then to them you were family. If they didnt that was all no malice was there they just didnt.
No comments:
Post a Comment