Well the hate continues. I have taken some real painful hits lately but this one is by far a real kick in the dick. So i had a procedure done recently in the pursuit of baby making bliss. This procedure is called trans-urethral resection of the ejaculatory ducts. 1) it hurts like hell to recover from and 2) IT FUCKING HURTS. OK to be honest it didn't hurt until i woke up after surgery. But fuck did it hurt and the doctor comes by and said as a bonus to the surgery he removed some old scar tissue from god only knows when. So this surgery for anyone too lazy to look it up requires the doctor to use a laser to remove the meat between the urethra and the seminal duct to allow the two roads to meet. Well it sucks!!! I woke up dizzy and confused which if i recall means the Anesthesiology did their job great fair enough. Could not move much but my dick hurt furiously. The only way I can really say it so you can understand fully is imagine your the training dummy for a women's self defense course on kick the guy in the balls day and you forgot your cup. Fifty fat angry women later and your almost their. I had the mother of all dinosaur catheters hanging my dong and for the first time in my life women are excited to see my love rocket. Sadly he was not as happy to see them. So after a short time I am told if I am feeling awake enough it is time to go. They get my travelling piss bag and strap it to my leg. then they hook me up with a Foley lock to keep the catheter in place .... Here is a small thing I should mention the Foley is placed 6 inches down my thigh the catheter is hanging 4 inches from my cobra head that gives a 2 inch difference.... YOU GUESSED IT one step and FUCKKKKKKKKK. but the lady's at the hospital assure my it will be fine after all i am suppose to be relax after the surgery. I guess that means that my fucking legs shrink I do not think so but what ever. So next to my recovery bed sits my wife and my nephew Mike who is waiting for us to leave and get lunch. But much to his surprise every nurse that walks by and lifts my gown to see my man meat and the 4 inch tube hanging out and he has 50 yard line seats to the worst show EVER. I tell him to go back to the lobby and he sprints the hell out. I do not blame him I wish I could have. A little while later I am dressed and trying to walk so I can get the hell out of the hospital. I get in my wheel chair and kazoow in the the car where I try to give my wife directions as she nervously avoids large bumps so as to not cause me much more pain. We stop by the local store for my prescription both the antibiotic and my salvation for a sore cock Vicodin. Because I was feeling a bit better I call my mom and get in the drivers seat some get this My Wife can relax( insert canned laughter here). We go to Ihop for some grub and I gimp through the parking lot. To be honest after the first day I did not hurt that bad. Unless I got out of my chair moved my legs or the dog yep jumped on my dick. But after two days I was feeling good enough with the aid of my happy pills to go to work. Well now we can breeze through the rest of those 3 weeks with this remove catheter bloody toilet, razor blade pissing and random shots of pain in an area that I formerly did not even pay attention to because I did not fucking hurt ever. Now I had another sperm test and as you can guess by the title of this chapter 0, Nada, zilch, not one fucking sperm in the whole place made it through to the cup which means my doctor might want to brush up on his education and stop thinking hes Bob the God damn builder. This ass hat tells me that " Well mister Tokar I tried but I'm not and infertility specialist". Holy shit really you charge me for a surgery that you say has a 60-70% success rate though nationally it's only 30% successful. then blow it off with your not a specialist here's a clue when dealing with people whom have been working on this for 6 years and trying to have kids after 17 years of trying that's not exactly a great come back line. Well screw him off to a SPECIALIST in Birmingham Al hopefully he knows what he is doing I really want my wife to enjoy caring my hell spawn damn it I mean child. So sit back relax and let me enjoy some pain. As I boldly go were few men would go in pursuit of pain oops I mean children and my wife's happiness.
