Life Sucks Vol 3

Well its time for a quick update on the life sucks blog i guess. My wife and I have no kids and are still trucking so to speak . Now we are in Alabama and going through some old test and readying for a new move in getting my man bits ready for baby making. I met a new doctor here and happy days no lisp to listen to and no visions of gay porn YEAH ! However now I have a man with a weak southern accent and a lazy staff. I met with him 3 weeks ago. First visit was going well enough said hi explained the situation then just when I thought the coast was clear BOOM. " Alright mister tokar lets have a look at the boys." Well fuck my life another ass that wants to hold my balls. Fuck drop my trousers he slaps on the gloves gives me a little rub around down town. He said ever thing seems good roll his dumb ass chair away takes off one glove . I hurry to put away the package and as soon as my zipper is up I he oops. Oops really screw you no obviously screw me. Drop my shorts again and back to happy nut squeezy time. Finally done again . I zip up and he says the words I never wanted to hear again well we are going to do a prostate ultrasound. fuck my life really I said . I was hoping never to do that again can you just get my old records. To which he stupidly response OH you have seen other doctors. DUH DUH DUH no shit Sherlock. Now before you say dig deeper Watson. My wife gives the receptionist the old doctors number and schedules the next appointment. Then fuck my life this asshole does not believe I have an azeo sperm count and asked me to stop off at the Medical Mall for blood and semen analyst. I drive down there and it is as the name implies bunch of doctors offices and a Subway. I go in the lab explain why I'm there. The lady asked if I had my man seed sample. I said no I drove here straight from the doctors office. When I ask where I am to spank the sample off she says make a right and the Subway and there is a restroom in the cafeteria. WHAT THE FUCK? If you don't remember the last time I did this I was in a doctors office restroom. Let me make this clear.  last time I was in a D O C T O R ' S O F F I CE. This is a public restroom for shits sake a single stall 50 feet for a Subway off of the fucking cafeteria. I walk into the restroom and get to work on the deed block out the smell of subway's meatballs ( I was so damn hungry too). So  I am busy trying to hurry things along a "knock knock knock" I respond " Fuck off I'm beating off in here". Then I hear them knock on the ladies bathroom surprise there is a women in there that just heard what I said through the paper thin wall.  Flash to last week. In Huntsville the center of Huntsville. I walk in after a two hour drive and say I need to use the restroom. The kind lady at the window asked me if I was the patient. Hmm. no I was just signing my name to the form for shits . Yes I am . she tells me to take a cup in for a sample like I'm  the fucking Gatorade sample machine. I said whats this for she say JUST IN CASE. In case of what the doctors thirsty. What ever I take the cup and little for them more for the water company.  I get in to the little room and wait for the doctor to arrive and the nurse says remove your pants and underwear and get on the table we have this sheet for you to cover up with. SHEET is a hell of a reference to a over-sized bounty paper towel. I look by the bed as she exits and FML  there's the prostate ultrasound machine and me without my pain killers or enema. now the doctors had time to get my records surely this isn't whats needed right . WRONG FUCK WRONG WRONG WRONG. well I chew him out bitch and complain but like a fish in prison I still got the pipe in my drain. The good news he sees what he calls a blockage the downside my ass hurts. The next surgery which will be very soon will have them ramming a thin tube/ laser in my dick to cut the space my ejaculatory duct should have been if of course he not had an off day and carves my turkey wrong. Well here I go again hoping it works and my wife gets a baby for our anniversary.